wolves & liars & cons, so what?

wolf_wall_street3

I often denounce the banality of our United Statesian juvenile-boy culture but today’s post specifically targets “entertainment.” If it’s been done, it’s been done ad nauseum.

I want movies, TV, books and art to inspire. That doesn’t mean they have to be uplifting or saccharine. But most films/TV shows are based in stimulation not inspiration. What’s that Georges Braque quote? Art disturbs, science reassures. ‘Disturb’ doesn’t have to denote degrading or doltish.

Yes, people can be greedy, violent, criminals. They cheat, fuck, lie and con. And so? Do we have to be subjected to it over and over with no experimental depths, no new inner regions to explore? Breaking Bad, for instance, dealt with all the above in mostly fresh non-gratuitous ways.

People also pick their ass, eat boogers, punch toddlers, pop juicy pimples, splurt diarrhea and I don’t want to watch any of that either.

Recently, I had two new subscribers to Rant-ology! I checked their profiles and found a bevy of boobs and shaved pussies. Ho-hum. What’s the thrill in sending out porn spam? Why must others see it with you? I forgot—it’s that sophomoric “Look At Me” bullshit.

So, movies. Sigh. If a director keeps making the same film again and again just altering details, maybe said director should see a therapist each week instead of subjecting the world to his neuroses/disorders. Psychologists are paid to listen—and deal with narcissists.

What I’m saying is that dysfunction doesn’t necessarily translate into art.

The Wolf of Wall Street and American Hustle are new films about rapacious sociopaths, brimming with humping, lies, indulgence, nimiety and over the top sexism. Yawn.

Christina McDowell, daughter of another piece of shit Wall Street psychopath wrote a courageous open letter to Scorsese about his veneration of the above redundant monotony. Her father was “business partners” with Jordan Belfort—self described Wolf in the first film. [BTW, I resent this scumbag affiliating himself with actual wolves]:

“You have successfully aligned yourself with an accomplished criminal, a guy who still hasn’t made full restitution to his victims, exacerbating our national obsession with wealth and status and glorifying greed and psychopathic behavior. And don’t even get me started on the incomprehensible way in which your film degrades women, the misogynistic, ass-backwards message you endorse to younger generations of men.”

I won’t be seeing either of these films; I don’t need to…because there’s nothing new here, just more and longer.

It’s often said: you vote with your dollars. If you want higher quality entertainment, stop paying for crap: the worship of greedy-white-guy “values,” special effects (not special when excessive), shoot-em-up-chase, male fantasy fucking/sucking, manic all-noise-no-rest animation (must all talking be yelling?), misogyny, exalting war in make-believe or real life. The zeitgeist of the day could use some fresher, restorative images that appeal to more than one demographic.

What if we created women-friendly shows? NOT chick lit/flick; this is what the “establishment” thinks women like. What if we explored the profundity and complexity of humanity instead of the depths of depravity? 

i like a woman who takes “care” of herself

beauty

I’m a woman, and I’ve been one for a long time. I’m feminine in a masculine kind of way.

Meaning, I don’t burn, wax, whiten, shave, tweeze, peel, curl, tan, receive weaves, perms, eyelash treatments, Botox injections, lip plumping, anal bleaching, slather myself with chemicals, makeup, nail polish… I don’t stuff my feet into evil Cinderella step-sister shoes, don “flossing” panties or encase my butt in Spanx.

I don’t do this because: I like to walk, bike, hike, sit and move comfortably. I enjoy deep breaths and smiles that don’t hurt my face. I love to eat (makes you fat!!), drink red wine (stains your teeth!), enjoy raw onions & garlic (bad breath!). I partake of all regularly.

Until recently most men’s grooming rituals were Shit, Shower, Shave. If older, maybe tweeze those errant nose/ear hairs. Most wear sensible shoes.

Beauty shouldn’t alter your body’s ability to be a body. Hair machinations, tattoos or (most) piercings are creative without significantly changing the body’s mastery of itself. I like to wear flowing skirts, cute boots with heels no higher than a man would wear, scarves, hats and non-binding jewelry. I’ve had designs cut and color stripes dyed into my hair for 35 years. Occasionally, I wear lip tint. I’ve been told I’m elegant and beautiful.

I could target anything from the savage “beauty” list above to rant on—having barely touched on dieting, plastic surgery or foot binding—but I’m going after one porn-informed ubiquitous ritual because it disrupts women’s sexuality.

Women shaving/waxing their vagina is part of the sexualization images derived from porn, not from women. Hairless is not what women look like. No, boys, they really don’t. But it is what girls are like…or little boys.

In the last 15+ years, the sexual unhappiness of women has quadrupled, at least from the accounts wept from my client chair. Somehow, male imbibers of porn think what they see on their computer = sex with live women. Think again. [See testosterone: the most lethal substance on earth (george carlin)] Real life women—seen through this x-rated distortion of airbrushed, anorexic and “bald” models—come up lacking.

Well, ladies, you’re contributing to the problem by unconsciously internalizing a patriarchal ideal of beauty, by altering your bodies to mirror porn stars: boob jobs, labiaplasty, hoodectomy, anal bleaching. And, more minorly, by porn-tarting up your coochie and calling it grooming, by buying into the unreal perfection-waxed-projections pushed by the biggest Big Biz.

I’m weary of porn deforming the erotic lives of women. 98% (or more) of porn is not women designed or women interesting. I want sex to stop being defined by male fantasy-driven images. Porn is not making love; it’s not even sex. Just like faking orgasms to resemble the poppycock in XXX “films,” you’re ruining the visual perception for a lot of other women who just want to be…women. Au naturel.

Peeling a band-aid off really smarts though I don’t usually rip it from my vaginal lips. I hear it’s torture to get a Brazilian wax, “landing strip” or not.

And for what? Ask yourselves. Paraphrasing standup comedienne Laura Hayden: “Men used to be happy just to be invited to the playground. Now they want it cleaned up, too?!”

 

women aren’t food

Alison Bechdel notices a pin-up calendar of a naked woman kneeling provocatively—in her book, Fun Home, Bechdel’s childhood autobiographical graphic novel—and suddenly her 10-ish child self alters. She asks her brother to call her Albert instead of Alison (she looks like a boy) while at the shop because—I believe—she feels exposed and objectified in a way she’d never experienced before. I, too, remember when I became aware of this indelicate difference—at age four—and came home asking my mamma if I could change out of my sundress into pants.

I grew up in the late 50s–60s (think Mad Men) where ogling women and making crude, rude remarks were common place. While married to my ex, he didn’t gawk at women in my presence but I heard from my kids—after we’d divorced—that he “drooled” over women in theirs. The kids mildly heckled him for it until they were older and then told him to stop outright.

What’s the big deal, you ask? He wasn’t really hurting anyone, right? Boys will be boys and all that. “Just because you’re on a diet doesn’t mean you can’t read the menu,” right? Wrong. Girls get the message—reinforced repeatedly and subliminally throughout society and the media—that their true and maybe only power is in being sexy bait instead of the all-encompassing empowered lesson boys receive.

Appreciating beauty, physiques, pecs & six-packs, breasts, art, architecture, nature, food, etc. is normal. But those things are not extensions of you; they’re just things you admire. Like cute kids or cuddly kittens. They exist in their own right. You don’t get to possess or minimize their existence because you desire them.

And speaking of animals, they aren’t just food. They could be food and are in certain circumstances but that’s not who they are intrinsically; they have their own lives and thoughts. If humans only recognize them for this one “service,” then we get heinous CAFOs, chicken “farms” and euphemistically labeled foods: veal, paté.

To perceive females as something one wants to consume suggests we’re commodities not humans. If men only see women in relation to their personal “needs” or desires then we women are spammed up as the main course in sicko porn.

Sexuality, sensuality, eroticism are things I love to participate in, be it “sex with one” or embraces with another. Lecherousness is a whole further level of puke. Who exists as a full being there? We live in an obsessive culture that over-praises sex to the exclusion of other joys or demonizes it to the level of “sin.”

Couldn’t sexuality have it’s own lovely, ordinary, human place? Couldn’t all beings/things on this planet be allowed their own beautiful value without looking for their utility in relation to us?

Begin with women. Practice not ogling; practice not wanting to. Men, if you’re over the age of 25 (maturation of prefrontal cortex), you’ve no excuse. Outgrow it like most men outgrow wanting to party all night, beer guzzling hats, fart jokes, and 20-hour gaming marathons.

In other words, grow the f@#k up.

testosterone: the most lethal substance on earth (george carlin)

It’s not that I never feel sorry for boys or for men; I do. They live within this patriarchal system just as women and all the rest of the species on the planet have to. But then again, no other species constructed that paradigm, did they?

So—we should grieve for the poor boys who don’t strive in school and generate “arousal addiction issues” within themselves?” (Arousal addiction: you want different, not just more). I realize Philip Zimbardo is only trying to illuminate this declining aspect of society but there’s a choice going on here. Should we commiserate with males who don’t try? (girls outperform boys at all levels from elementary to graduate schools) You don’t have the same choices if you’re socially *disadvantaged by being born of the “lesser” gender, one of the “minor” races, deformed, neuro-diverse, etc.

But, if you’re from an entitled group that chooses to move towards Loser-ville, it’s difficult to sympathize as much. Except—what about all the straight females who can’t find decent males to befriend, laugh & talk with, share food, sex, music, children with, marry or just date?

Boys—Zimbardo says—no longer know the language of “face contact” because of “excessive internet use…video gaming/porning.” He says the average boy watches 50 porn clips a week!! Stats weren’t given for hours spent gaming. For every 400 films made in Hollywood there are 11K porn videos made; what number do adult men see? In 2009, a Canadian study wanting to measure the impact of pornography on 20-something men was cancelled. The reason? Researchers couldn’t find a control group of men in their 20s who hadn’t consumed porn.

Last February, Bill Maher discussed this trend: “I’m not anti-porn. I’m just saying masturbation has its place and that place is Plan B, when you can’t get the real thing…now psychologists are telling us that for a sizable percentage of men in America, masturbating to porn is Plan A, and doing it with your wife or girlfriend is more like a fallback option…you literally jack yourself into a corner.”

And lastly, I bring you George Carlin: The Male Disease, where I quote, “All the problems in the world…can be traced to what fathers do to their sons.” (patriarchy in action)

Okay parents, time to step in. Ooops, except some of you parents are male. Well, then time to undo what was chosen by you, learned or given to you. Be ‘tasteful’ role models please: overcome your biology and your upbringing. You owe it to the human race to fulfill the term human. The planet is at stake.

Many of us are waiting, and waiting and waiting and waiting…

*valued from patriarchal paradigm standards