usa fashion: men are just taller boys

In the USA (unless you live in big cities, particularly the coasts), many men dress like little boys: ball caps, striped shirts (not the hip type), dumpy pants, sports jerseys, warm-up “suits,” button-downs seemingly snatched off the floor, sneakers, flip-flops, t-shirts with literally stupid words on them.

It doesn’t get much better when guys “dress up.” Boring characterless suits of cheaper fabrics like polyester that are too tight, too large, ill-fitted across the shoulders and with wrists gangling out; they look like their wife or mom scored them at Goodwill. Same goes for tacky sport coats. Even most ties have no pizzazz. Payless “fashion” shoes, bland socks, generic belts. Bad haircuts and errant hairs emerging from…orifices.

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And then there are “international men,” regardless of age: sweaters, dashing overcoats, masculine scarves and cravats, hats of all types, boots, shoes and belts of fine tooled flair that one can’t help notice and admire. Hair is styled whether there’s a little or a lot that befits their face and head. There’s thought and care, yet comfort and allure. In other words, they’re as attractive and fetching as most women are.

We women like to gaze at beautiful humans, too, and we’d like some of them to be men.

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The word “romance” originally meant things Roman. Maybe there’s a reason that the Italians and Spanish are considered the most romantic. They certainly dress the part.

With many birds, the males are stunningly more colorful, gorgeous, plumed to the nines than the females. I swear human chanteuses take their cues for boas and headdresses from peacocks, pheasants and ducks. Male birds perform lovely dances and Bower birds build impressively decorated homes to charm the female.

So, men—wherever you live—take a cue. Get a clue. Most females aren’t expecting hand built homes but, geez, couldn’t you take a little time with yourself so we might think you’d take a little time with us, too?

We women do want to be wooed and wowed with some “plumage” action. You don’t have to have a plethora of clothes or shoes; it’s more about effort than financial investment:

  • Get a pleasing haircut and then style it in the morning. Don’t just gel or paste it. Ask your hair stylist for a tutorial.
  • Buy quality fabrics in shirts, pants, suits that FIT. Experiment with colors, patterns or sophisticated “simple.”
  • Wash your clothes, then iron SOME of them. Sorry, you must.
  • Graduate to real shoes. Unless you’re jogging/running or at the beach don’t wear sneakers or flip-flops. There are many types of snazzy/smart comfortable shoes, sandals and boots.
  • Accessories ‘make it’ as mentioned above: scarves, belts, hats but also a simple silver bracelet, modest gold earring, patterned vests, classy socks, tasteful satchels…
  • Go for elegance whether it’s for nighttime chic or easy-going.

6 thoughts on “usa fashion: men are just taller boys

  1. Dear Ranttress, thanks so much for the fashion advice. I recently bought a suit at the Goodwill that I thought was quite nice and stylish, but after reading your latest post I am unsure now of my choice. Maybe you should have a look and advise . Thank you. Loyal reader.


  2. Ha! Ha! I sure will, Mister Misterly. Hoping to come up for an overnight when Kelly is pruning. Possibly that Monday…
    I’m sure the goats love everything you wear! It’s all delicious. xo


  3. I do love that button! Shows how the simplicity of a well-placed thought out “accessory” can make the whole look, though his hat is pretty good too. And, I’m italian descent. When I go to visit family in Tuscany, the men are definitely dapper. 🙂


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